A Sea of Wrappers

As I look around my room, I see it's in shambles... Much as it has been for the past two years... I am surrounded by a sea of open containers, wrappers and dishes... My desk is dirty. I see food smears on the edge... There are small mountains of clean and dirty clothes all piled on my floor. And it's a reflection of how I feel.
Out of control. I feel fat. I may not be, but I should be. I should be after the massive amount of calories I've binged and purged today. Last day, I say. Last day. And it never is. But tommorrow it wll be.
So I sit, waiting for tommorrow to come. And watch as my life passes on by. I ignore texts, ignore calls, ignore the outside world. I won't look anyone in the eye. I'm too shameful. They may see my truth.
I'm overwhelmed by everything I need to do. I can't function. I can't figure out how to do it all. And I have not idea where to start. So I binge and purge to forget about it. And then I'm done and I'm numb and I still know I'm in 'trouble,' but I'm so spent, I can't muster the courage to really care. But I'm lethargic and dead inside. This is how I feel... AFTER a day of binging and purging. This is the negativity that seeps from my pores on days like this... Tommorrow my Mom and I are looking at new apartments for me to move into since my roommate randomly decided to move out on me. And I won't have the chance to do this. Tommorrow positive Molly Sue will emerge from the sea of wrappers into the real world. And be the cheerful, happy girl she is known to be...